


The Bride

by Theseastar



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Bonding, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Feels, First Time, Romance, Slice of Life, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:43:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5755861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theseastar/pseuds/Theseastar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Esme had never pictures herself as anyone's wife, let alone anyone's mother. But since here she was, in home she'd never been in, with a husband she'd never met, she was going to make the best of it. </p><p>Or, </p><p>I always wondered what this was like for Esme, and this is how I think it went.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Wedding

The flat was nicer than anything she’d ever been in. Missing a few touches here and there, but for the most part, it was nice. There were large deep couches in dark green, shelves with glasses on them. It was kind of crowded with trunks, blankets and little trinkets that could only belong to children. She edged around the room as her husband came in (that was strange, she wasn’t used to that yet.) he was with his brother.

Arthur? Was his name? 

She didn’t really know what to do, seeing as how she didn’t really plan on being anyone’s wife anytime soon. It had quite been sprung on her. Her and her great aunt had gotten into something of a little argument. She’d always been too opinionated, too vocal, and that started to get her into trouble. She’d been engaged, the man was a right goat. He was a bloody animal, and she refused to be with him. But no matter how many times she showed her displeasure of being with him, he seemed to come back for more. The final straw came when she rolled over in her bed, in the middle of her night, and he was there, looming over her. With quick work she brought her elbow to his nose, feeling the bone snap under the force, he rolled away, wreaking havoc upon her room. 

She’d been drug away to the council then, and they had since been deciding what to do with her. Three days before the wedding, as she was tending to the village children, the great mother came in, and informed her of her fate, she was to be married. To a Shelby. 

To a fucking Shelby. 

She’d never met any of them personally. But she’d heard enough tales to know that she wasn’t going to like this very much. 

“You’ll have to be nice to him.”

“I know.”

“These Shelby’s are not going to put up with that wandering mouth.” 

She’d looked up from the babies nappie then, looking the great mother in her eyes. She scooped the baby up, cradling him in her arms, and taking him to the warm water for a bath.

“He needs a wife to tend to his children.” She cleaned the baby, his soft flesh giving a bit under her arms, as she cleaned up of dirt and dust. Of his sleep. 

“Okay.”

“Okay? Just like that?” 

“Would it mattered if I argued?”

“No.” 

“That’s what I thought.”

.  
.

So here she was. Standing, shuffling awkwardly in the living area of a man she’d hardly met. His brother and he were smoking, removing his jacket, and calling down the children. 

“Take a seat, dear.” The older one crowed loudly, it was like his voice was echoing, bouncing around the room loudly. She didn’t know where to sit, so she went to the closest seat, sitting down in a green, deep chair, with a knitted blanket thrown over the back. She stared down at her hands. Her hands had been scrubbed clean before the wedding, the underbed of her nails still sore from the poking of sticks to dig the dirt from underneath them. 

Her husband vanished down a hallway and she was left with his brother, tall and imposing with Navy eyes, he was peering down at her curiously. 

“You’re a quiet one.” He said. She shrugged halfheartedly. Wanting to so badly tuck her hair out of it’s intricate knots. She wanted to take off this dress, with too many layers, and slid into her packed nightie, and tuck into bed for the night. The night of dancing, and drinking had left her tired. She fiddled absently with the hair that pulled around her shoulders and pooled a bit in her lap. Her hair was unfashionably long. 

She was drawn from her thoughts at the familiar sound of little feet puttering down the hall. This was probably the only time that she has not felt nervous this whole evening. She knew children. She could work with children. Her Husband came around the corner, proceeding him were two boy’s in long john pajamas, one with a little cap on his head. They lined up in front of her. Her husband followed with a little girl, a wee girl with light blonde hair and a nightie on, he was cradling her to his chest, holding her tight. One hand supporting her little bottom, the other cupping her head. He was whispering to her. 

Esme felt a pang in her chest.

“Esme, these are my children. John Jr. Michael. And little Katie. Kids, this is mama Esme, she’s my new wife, and she’ll be taking care of you from now on.” The older of the boys, John Jr. Shuffled forward and threw his arms around her. She was startled for a moment, before she hugged him back, he smelled like soap and sleep, a familiar, child smell. The other boy was more shy, hiding a bit behind his dad, he was given an encouraging shove forward and fell into her lap absently. Before she could even take a moment to collect her thoughts, the small girl, maybe one or two years old, was dumped unceremoniously into her lap, where she gripped Esme’s hair and shoved a thumb in her mouth, peering up at her with cold, blue eyes. 

They were familiar eyes, she’d seen them on the middle brother, Thomas. 

As her husband stalked over and lit cigarette by the fire with his brother, she looked over the children with an inspecting eye. The older one needed new pants, his were riding up around his ankles, he also needed a haircut, his hair was overgrown and shaggy around his shoulders, actually all the children’s hair was too shaggy. They also needed a good wash. As clean as they smelled she could see offending little clumps of dirt in their hair. The middle boy, with dark brown eyes and long dark hair looked the most worse for wear. His clothes were both too short and too tight. He had dirt underneath his fingernails and something stuck between his teeth. She timidly reached out and parted his lips, brushing her thumb over the spot, it came away as flaky dough, they’d been eating sweets. 

The young girl was gripping her hair with all her might, but Esme didn’t mind, her hair been tugged on by children for longer than she could remember. She’d been a nurse in the village for so long, for the children. 

She wondered absently if her husband would mind if she bathed the children before bed. 

“Are you our new mother?” The question came from the oldest boy, she could tell that he was the voice of the group. His speech was slightly slurred, probably from exhaustion. 

“Uhm..” She didn’t really know how to answer. She wasn’t their mother, as a matter of fact she didn’t know what happened to his mother.   
“Yes.” The answer came from behind her, the middle Shelby man had come in, either he was stealthily silent or she was caught up in observing the children. “Yes John, she is. And you’ll be very nice to her, and come to her if you need anything.” He said. 

The young girl nodded a little in her lap and she could tell they needed sleep. So finding her voice she stood, gripping the little girl, and fastening Michael’s hand to her skirt, she asked, “May we bathe before bed?”

Her husband looked startled at her request. 

“Of course. You don’t need to ask to bathe, Esme.” She nodded and walked out. 

“John! Show your mother were the bathroom is.” 

John led the way, warily glancing back at her as if to check if she was still following. She was. They came to stop at a door. In the room was a deep claw foot tub, a counter with towels on it, and a window. She ran the water warm, filling the tub deep, before stripping the two boys. The girls stayed latched onto her. Even when she put her on her unsteady feet the girl gripped her wedding skirts and didn’t let go.   
Silently she bathed the boys. Running a small towel in the water and over their skin. She drained the water and helped them dry, patting their soft skin free of the warm water. They dressed back into their old clothes, and she combed out their hair. Their eyes were wide with wonder this whole time, as she ran the comb gently through their shaggy locks. 

“Alright. Go lay in bed and wait for Katie and I to be done bathing, and perhaps I’ll tell you a story.” At this she could tell they grew excited. But the older boy tried to hide his excitement but his dancing eyes were hard to ignore. As the tub filled she pulled the Nightie off of Katie, And took her wedded dress off of herself. She draped it cautiously over the line in the bathroom and got in the tub with Katie. Holding the girl to her naked breast she sunk into the water with her. 

The girls eyes were wide with wonder and Esme wondered if she’d never seen another woman naked before. She let Katie splash in the water as she bathed herself, removing her hair from it’s confining knot she dunked her head under the water and then cleaned Katie.   
“Pretty girl.” She spoke to her, combing her hair in the water. The blonde hair was a little thin, but nothing age wouldn’t fix. 

She and Katie dressed. She put her sheath on from underneath her dress, her bare legs cold in the night and Katie was changed into a nightie that was already on the line. 

She found the boys in a room down the hall, she could hear the sounds of laughing coming from the entrance room and knew that her husband (still strange) was still conversing with his brothers. She tucked herself into the bed with the boys, and held Katie on her chest.   
“Tell the story please, mama.”

Mama, that was new and weird. But fitting. She wasn’t going to question it. So she wove them a story, of a clever bird evading a dog. And of a baker, who ran out of flour, and they laughed a little and drifted in and out of sleep. Little Michael was the last awake, and asked her, just as she was drifting into sleep.

“You wont leave us will you?”

She thought on that for a second. She thought of her mother, who had left their family in a shameful manner with Esme was ten. She could still remember her mother, her long red hair and beaming smile. She knew what it was like to be alone. To be uncared for. And while she didn’t know much about these children, she knew she didn’t want anyone to feel what she felt.

“No. I won’t. I promise.”

And it was a promise she intended to keep.


	2. Chapter 2

Esme woke naturally early. It was the time in the morning in which the babies usually woke in the village, her body was naturally inclined to this early morning dread. She rolled over, and found herself confused. This was not the room she fell asleep in. As she rolled onto her back, she came eye to eye with her Husband who was tucking his shirt into his pants, the shirt still unbuttoned. Her eyes drank in the sight of him, chest lean built, he was a bit more muscular than she first assumed. 

“You fell asleep with the children. I brought you hear when I myself went to bed. Figured your back would hurt if you slept all night with John’s foot in your back.” He had a toothpick in his mouth that he was chewing absently. 

“Thank you.” She sat up. Her hair unraveled from it’s twist and painted her back. She rubbed at her eyes. Grimacing at the black kohl that came off on her hand, signifying that her makeup was smeared across her face. She absently brushed it off and tried not to feel awkward sitting there in silence. 

“You were good with the children. They asked about you this morning when they woke.” Her eye brows flew up into her hairline at the thought that these kids got up even earlier than the babe’s she usually worked with. That was a scary thought, John seemed to hear her thoughts and gave a naturally laugh.

“My kids are up with the crows.” He said. She sat back on the pillows for another moment. He turned to her as he buttoned up his shirt. She could see the hint of a tattoo on his chest. 

“Polly delivered breakfast. Figured you’d be tired. The kids were waiting on you to eat though.” That got her up fast. She flipped the blankets off and stood, she didn’t mind her nakedness. Her back and legs exposed from her nightie. She root around in her case that she’d brought with her. Over her head came her nightie and she pulled on a dark red skirt and out came a pink blouse to go over it. She paused though, as she felt eyes on her. 

Cautiously she turned her head to look at him, finding his eyes sweeping her form, hungry. She hadn’t thought about her nakedness. In her camp, it was natural. The human figure was beautiful and no one took caution to hide it. She was used to be naked. Naked was comfortable. Trying to ignore the eye on her she slid the skirt up, leaving the hose in the case. She put the pink blouse on, sans brassiere. She took out her comb and shuttled it through her hair, deciding to leave it down. She would need it for cover during the day, and the children seemed to like it. John Jr. had spent most of story time fiddling with one of her curls, and even put it in her mouth before she tucked the lock out of his hand. 

Now to get to the door. Her husband was there, though. Blocking the way, shirt still half unbuttoned, as she went to slide past him, he caught her forearm. Her sheer pink blouse not a lot of cover for the warmth that was seeping from his skin, to hers. 

He spun her slightly so that she was facing him. Her eyes danced over his face, hard hooded eyes, dark hair cut short. They were so close she could feel his breath dancing on her lips. 

“Thank you. For caring for the children last night. They need someone like you.” He said. She was shamed to admit she relished in the feeling of his warmth on his lips, and that she preened a bit at his praise. “I’ll be out most of the day, but if you need me, go to the Garrison, or next door, the house. I might be there.” She nodded, and before she could walk again, his head swooped down, and he caught her lips on his.   
His lips were warm and soft over hers. Slightly moist. She became pliant under him. HIs other hand buried itself in her hair, holding her close as his mouth ravished hers. He felt nothing like the boorish man of her previous engagement. He released her a second later, when he spoke, his voice was hoarse. 

“I’ll see you. Take care of the kids.”

She shuttled past him and out of the room, and down the hall. She could hear bickering coming from the south so she followed that direction. She stumbled upon a scene; the two boys were constructing a plate of food, there were sliced fruits, cheeses and some bread. They were making it together, Katie was sticking her hands, which looked to be covered in jam on her slice of toast. They were dressed, in their too little clothes, but were making quite the mess. 

“Good morning.”

“Mama!” Michael crowed and flung himself at her, burying his head in her skirts. Katie let out a loud gurgle laugh and began to reach for her, little hands grasping. She swooped down and pecked Michael on the head, sniffing his hair slightly. She led him over and scooped up Katie and sat in her seat, Katie on her lap. 

“What do we have here?” 

“We made you breakfast. That we can share.” John said. She smiled at him. 

“Thank you Johnny, It looks beautiful.” He lit up for a moment and smiled. Before shoving a piece of jam covered toast in his mouth. She ate lightly, making sure the kids got enough in their belly’s. Katie seemed to enjoy eating the jam straight from her fingers. As she ate, Esme mused her hair, twisting it this way and that, trying to find a suitable way to put it out of the girls forehead. She thought of her mission for today. New clothes for the children. She felt a jingle in her pockets, she brought with her savings, and with the pounds that she managed to save, she was going to provide. 

After breakfast she wiped the children clean and helped them dress for today. She thought about little Katie, she wouldn’t be able to carry her all through town, and she would be walking a distance, she didn’t know how far the shops were going to be, this was a new town and she was keen to explore it. So as the children were putting their shoes on, which she noted were too small, she pulled a long sash from her pack and tied it around her waist and over her arms, she tucked Kate inside, close to her chest so that her hands were free. She didn’t intend to let go of the hands of the boys. Once Katie was secure she returned to the living area to see the boys, ready to go. 

She took in their looks. With a tie from her pack she tied their hair back from their face until she could give them a proper cut. They left the house after locking up, Johnny had the key. The street was dull grey, she hadn’t gotten a proper look at it from the car the night previous. 

“Alright Johnny, you’re the oldest, so you’re the leader, lead us to the shoppes.” She said. He gripped her hand tight and began to the right, pulling them along. Along another street, it was bustling with people. Men coming in and out of work, women with their friends. Some stopped to look at her, and she didn’t like the looks they gave the children and her. She could feel Katie sleeping against her chest. 

“This is where pa gets our clothes.” Johnny said. She looked at the store, and went in, Michael’s hand gripping her skirt. The shop was filled with women, and their chatter stopped as Esme went inside. She went up toward the counter, where a woman in a delicate pink dress was leaned over speaking to another woman. 

“Hello. I’m Esme L-“ She paused, and cleared her throat, “Esme Shelby. It looks like the children are in need of new clothing.” She said. She could feel Michael’s head pressed against her rear in his effort to disappear in her skirts. 

The chatter that had vanished picked up with processed speed, she knew they were talking about her. But she refused to dip her chin, not in front of the children who needed to be taught to be strong, even in the face of gossip. 

“Alright.” The woman came around, her delicate dress and nice shoes made Esme want to pick self-consciously at her own clothes. She measured the children, and she told the woman Katie’s size to avoid waking the child up and taking her off her breast. 

She found play clothes for the children, pajamas and one good suit, for church. It cost her a small fortune, but the looks on the children’s eyes as she paid for them with her coins and dollars was enough payment back. She knew what it was like to be amazed at someone’s niceness, that was how she felt when she first joined her village. It was strange, seeing people so keen on doing nice for her. She was paying, and trying to find a way of getting the clothes back to the flat, she heard it, out of the corner of her ears the shrewd voice of a woman, probably her age: 

“Those reckless Shelby kids, and his new gypsy wife. Stand clear of them, nothing but trouble.” She spun to find a woman, with dirty blonde hair talking to a girl about Johnny’s age. School age. The girl was looking at her curiously, and she wondered the picture she made in the girls eyes. But she wasn’t too concerned about that for the moment, she could see Johns’ face reddening with embarrassment or sadness, or perhaps both. That just wouldn’t do.   
For the last week she had been practicing in biting her tongue, in fear that it might lash against her new husband and she would pay for that. But this wouldn’t do. Like a phoenix from the ashes her tongue whipped the new woman. 

“Excuse me.” She looked at her with wide eyes, “I couldn’t help but overhear you, and overhear your thoughts on my son, Johnny.” The blonde seemed to be taken aback, perhaps she wasn’t expecting Esme to speak. 

“And I’ll have you know, that I don’t appreciate that. My son is a beautiful, sweet boy, he’s not a toxic bone in his body. Now you, ma’am, whoever you are with your toxic words and the judgement in your eyes are the toxic ones. Spreading lies and rumors, shame on you.” She snapped, and the woman flinched. The shop was dead silent. 

“If your daughter is so stupid as to believe the words of her moronic and ignorant mother, I want my children to have no part in her either.” She snagged the bags, Johns’ hand and headed out. They walked the streets in silence for a while, John shuffling beside her, she refused to let go of his hand.   
Part of her wanted to ignore it, he’d heard everything he needed to know. But she knew what it was like to be in school, and hearing the whispers of people around her, so she thought better of it, and in the middle of the busy street, she let go of his hand and dropped down to look in his eyes. 

“Johnny. Look at me.” He did. His navy eyes didn’t waver. 

“The words of people around us are not important. Those that love us, will love us no matter what. You don’t let anyone talk down to you.”

“You spoke up for me.”

“Of course I did.” She said. And with the eyes of the children looking on her she said, “I’m your mama, that’s what I do. No one should speak about my Johnny that way.”

“Your Johnny?” He asked, almost timidly.  
“Yes.” She was firm. “My Johnny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lost my muse and found it again!   
> All things recognizable as Peaky Blinders... definitely belong to them! I'm thinking of writing another Peaky based fic, but we'll see! 
> 
> Drop me a note! I'd love to hear from you!

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything Peaky Blinder's related.   
> This is also my first Peaky fic, so be gentle with me!   
> drop me a note and let me know what you think.


End file.
